There is a wonderful poem that is often on placed on posters, postcards and wallet cards. A book was even written to expound on its’ virtues. It’s called “Children Learn What They Live” by By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. It begins:
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
and ends with
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
If you’ve never read it, Google it and read the entire thing. It’s pretty profound. It was written back in the 60’s and is awesome for the people living in privilege.
The only problem is, where it relates to some other real life families, it just doesn’t go deep enough. For example, the real life poem should read:
Children in Poverty Learn What They Live, too.
If children live with lawyers, they learn their rights under the law and how to defend themselves.
If children live with teachers, they learn a desire to teach others.
If children live with a doctor, they learn compassion to want to take care of others.
If children live with financial experts, they learn to earn and take care of their money.
If children live with military personnel, they learn what it is to defend one’s country.
If children live with positive adult mentors, they learn self-confidence and respect for themselves and others.
If children live with parents who are caring and compassionate, who work every day to take good care of them, but who are not making anywhere near $200,000 a year (which we keep hearing is middle class), who are raising them to be stand up citizens, they learn to be like their parents, running the rat race, living from paycheck to paycheck, trying to make ends meet.
If children live with parents who are caring and compassionate, who work every day to take good care of them, but who are not making anywhere near $200,000 a year (which we keep hearing is middle class), who are raising them to be stand up citizens, but who are surrounded by knuckleheads, they have a bigger struggle on their hands, not only to make ends meet but also to not fall prey to the peer pressure of being a knucklehead.
If children live with parents who believe in them, they learn to believe in themselves and plan for a successful future.
If children live with parents in poverty who believe in them, they learn to believe in themselves but will rarely afford the opportunity to escape poverty.
If children live with parents who don’t work, because they understood it from their mother, who understood it from her mother, who understood it from her mother, who understood it from her mother, etc.to get pregnant young to get assistance with finding your own apartment, food and a little money, they generally continue to perpetuate the cycle.
If children live with crackheads, they learn to do crack and every which way to get their hands on some money to support their habit or get a food because who knows where the next meal is coming from.
If children live with drug dealers, they learn to deal drugs, to buy a bunch of material goods with the money they get, and to always look over their shoulders.
If children live with prostitutes, they learn America’s oldest profession.
If children live with gang bangers, they learn to protect their turf by any means necessary.
If children live with family in the projects, they learn how to survive in the hell; just not outside of it.
If children live with molesters, they learn to live in constant fear, they learn to lie to cover up the molestation, and sadly, they learn to molest.
If children live with people who allow them to listen to gangster rap, they learn to disrespect women and the law and that there is loyalty in death.
I could go on because the cycle is vicious and so many families are caught up in it. It pains me how people of privilege pretend not to know the effects of being raised in abject poverty and how easy it is for them to look the other way. Then when I say something like, “This is how the system is designed,” people want to label me a conspiracy theorist, like I’m being unpatriotic for telling the truth. But I have the audacity to believe that if people knew more about the real causes of poverty and about these circumstances that perpetuate it, they might begin to gain empathy for and a real understanding of how everyone DOES NOT have the same chance to make it in America.
Inner cities are almost like third world countries right here in the grand old U S of A. And while I am certainly a firm believer in the idea that it doesn’t matter where you come from, that you don't have to become a product of your environment and can become a success; I am honest enough to recognize that it is much easier said than done. And if I want to be totally honest with myself and everyone else, I'll admit that it's also highly unlikely.
Til Next Time. Peace- Two Fingers. One Love.
Oh gosh.! Your passive-aggressive negativity. It's scary. (BTW, I said that in my Ron Weasley voice which you don't know because you haven't seen HP & the SS. But that's neither here nor there.)
ReplyDeleteI understand and realize where you're coming from, but I know that I can't think like that or else not only am I doomed, but the kids that I teach will be doomed.
Um, yes, the cycle is vicious, but I have to believe that people can do anything that they want to. They WANT to. They can't half-ass it or wait for others.