Perspective

The beauty of me is that I learn from everything. For me, anything and anyone can be a teacher. For that I am grateful. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in who is teaching that we miss the lesson.

My lesson for today family is about perspective. Lots of time we want nothing more than to only hear what we want to hear, those things that confirm our beliefs. It is where clichés like, "Speeches only reach those who already know," and "Preaching to the choir" come from. They are for the most part very true. When we read, we read writers whose views and opinions mimic ours, what we watch, listen to, and follow all represent people and things that we already believe to be correct. We are often not willing to look at things from others' perspective. Perfect FB example is a friend "liking" Mitt Romney's page. UPROAR!! SCANDAL!! But- you can only decide what you know when you know all the sides; or what you're up against; or what's within your control. Otherwise you are following things for the wrong reasons; because everybody else is, because your parents did, because it's popular.

Putting things in perspective is about examining what you know and why you know it, what you believe and why you believe it. It is about growing as a conscious human being not just accepting everything you've been taught since forever. Keeping things in perspective is about being mature enough to take 100% responsibility for your life; your health, your relationships, your emotions, your career, your finances, your habits, and your spiritual beliefs. It necessitates that you take a good, hard look at yourself, realizing the person you are and then deciding on the person you want to become. None of us are perfect. We’ve got work to do. #getbusy

Til next time. Peace. Two Fingers, One Love.

Technorati Tags: blacks,woman,perspective,inner city,scandal,work,health,relationships,teacher,lesson,perfect,responsibility,emotions,reasons,control

POLITICS - SCANDAL

I must say; even as I consider a run for public office myself, I do not envy politicians. Especially in this day & time. With corruption all around us, a floundering economy and overall apathy for the plight of our fellow Americans, people aren't looking for leadership or even a handout, people are looking for a savior. And sadly, I honestly can't say that I blame them.

A lot is wrong in America and unfortunately, much too often the focus is on all the wrong things. Take for example all of the financial scams and scandals we've been subjected to in recent years. From Enron to Fannie Mae to the housing crisis to Bear to Madoff to LIBOR. Even the Penn State scandal, seemingly more about money and a legacy than saving young boys from a merciless predator. It is just a neverending litany of foolishness. And  you'd best believe we haven't seen the last of bank and big business manipulations or missing brokerage house funds.

Your best bet since you have to live in this world is to learn everything you can about how the game is played. You can't afford to stand back and hope for the best, thinking the President and the rest of the liberals are gonna look out for your interests. Government is simply not ready to deal with this yet. I believe it would mean pointing fingers at too many of them and quite possibly a fallout the likes of nothing we've ever witnessed. Because let me say this... There was a time, in my lifetime, where if you wanted to be rich, a politician was the last thing you wanted to be. Much like teachers and nurses and psychologists and others in helping fields,  there was very little money.  Well, they certainly fixed that! Public servants no more; the vast majority of them currently serve their own best interests, so the likelihood of them really dealing with the issue is slim-to-none. Best get busy looking out for yourself.

An Attitude of Gratitude

People are miserable. They love it! They complain, complain, complain. Bring the rain down HARD right on top of their heads, then look for somebody to blame. They think everyone is out to get them; think people are mean to them for no reason not realizing that people are responding to their upleasantness and no one wants to be around them. I know for me, I try to keep my positive force protective shield around me. Some people are so sour though that they can pierce right through it! It’s so sad that they don’t realize that life is like a boomerang and that whatever they load up on it is definitely coming back to them. If you load it up with good actions and good a good attitude, you’ll get them back. If you load it up with bullsh*t, it’s coming back to slap you in the face.Then you’ll really be sh*tfaced. LMBO!

What I’ve learned is that if you carry with you an attitude of gratitude, just being thankful for what you have instead of complaining and worrying about what you don’t, it’ll make your journey a lot more enjoyable. People think gratefulness is a weakness. They see it as settling for less. In actuality, it is the mere act of applauding the fact that it’s as good as it is (because it could certainly always be worse) and acknowledging an appreciation for what you have as you work towards other things you may want. If you don’t have an attitude of gratitude, let me know. I’ll tell you a few places where you can go and pick one up!

Til Next Time.

Peace- Two Fingers. One Love!

Technorati Tags: attitude,gratitude,misery,grateful,positive,acknowledgement

One Moment In Time

I gotta tell you- every time I hear a Whitney Houston song, I’m reminded that Whitney is really dead. And it’s so terribly tragic because she really had so much life in her. I feel so bad for Whitney because she had everything; I mean everything that most people dream of having: beauty, incredible talent, money, family. It just doesn’t get much better than that. Except for all intents and purposes, she did not seem to have self-love.

She was one of America’s sweethearts. She had a golden voice - probably the best in generations. She was a beautiful young lady. She had more money than she could spend in a lifetime. But none of that was enough to make Ms. Houston love herself. Whatever battles she was fighting, she was fighting them against herself, and sadly, she lost.

Whitney only needed to know that it was okay to be as good as she was. She needed to be able to comprehend that she wasn’t a diva because she was Whitney Houston. She was Whitney Houston because she was a DIVA – a Divine, Inspirational, Victorious and Awesome woman. Unfortunately, it is never enough to have someone that loves you tell you that you’re good. It is not enough to have large numbers of people admire you because you’re good. You are good enough when YOU BELIEVE you’re good enough! Whitney needed to have that one moment in time where no matter what anyone else thought of her, no matter what her weaknesses were or what she perceived them to be, no matter if she had one fan or one billion, she wholeheartedly loved and accepted herself.

Here’s to you Whitney!

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

Until next time. Peace- Two Fingers. One Love!

Technorati Tags: love,self-love,whitney,houston,believe,moment,time,battles,diva,good,weakess,acceptance

Let It Rain!

Today, it is pouring down raining. I mean it is throwing down outside and I am working in it. I am sopping wet! It is early in the morning and by all accounts, I should be disgusted, aggravated, and a little down. A lot of us react to rain that way. I know I used to. While I still consider a rainy day good sleeping weather, I also regard it as a beautiful day. It keeps people indoors, washes away a lot of the filth, and makes me feel like the world is working the way it’s supposed to.

The other thing about rain is that it reminds me that “Into everyone's life a little rain must fall.” For a lot of us, the same way we react to rainy days is how we react to the problems in our life. When the problems come, we get all gloomy and take it personal like how dare a problem land on our shoulders. What we really have to do is understand that sh*t happens. Some days it is our turn to get caught in the rain. It's not personal. But we are so hung up believing that life is supposed to be perfect. We can only be happy when the sun is shining and everybody loves us and there's money in our pockets and everything is going EXACTLY the way we want it to. Then and only then is all right with the world! Get over yourself...

The rain comes to make us appreciate the sun. It comes to help food and flowers grow. Sometimes it comes because we've sent a shuttle into space. In our personal lives, the rain usually comes as a direct result of a decision we made or didn't make. We decided to do something because it felt good, or to make someone else suffer, or because we didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and now here come the consequences. Instead of dealing with them and learning from them, we blame and hide and lie and cry. But if you were big enough to do what we did, then you're big enough to pay for it. Sometimes the lessons you can learn through the storm cannot be taught any other way, the message not understandable by any other means. The rain helps us grow, and hopefully get smarter and stronger.

Let it rain! Let it rain! Let it rain!

Children Learn What They Live- updated

There is a wonderful poem that is often on placed on posters, postcards and wallet cards. A book was even written to expound on its’ virtues. It’s called “Children Learn What They Live” by By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D. It begins:

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

and ends with

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you’ve never read it, Google it and read the entire thing. It’s pretty profound. It was written back in the 60’s and is awesome for the people living in privilege.

The only problem is, where it relates to some other real life families, it just doesn’t go deep enough. For example, the real life poem should read:

Children in Poverty Learn What They Live, too.

If children live with lawyers, they learn their rights under the law and how to defend themselves.

If children live with teachers, they learn a desire to teach others.

If children live with a doctor, they learn compassion to want to take care of others.

If children live with financial experts, they learn to earn and take care of their money.

If children live with military personnel, they learn what it is to defend one’s country.

If children live with positive adult mentors, they learn self-confidence and respect for themselves and others.

If children live with parents who are caring and compassionate, who work every day to take good care of them, but who are not making anywhere near $200,000 a year (which we keep hearing is middle class), who are raising them to be stand up citizens, they learn to be like their parents, running the rat race, living from paycheck to paycheck, trying to make ends meet.

If children live with parents who are caring and compassionate, who work every day to take good care of them, but who are not making anywhere near $200,000 a year (which we keep hearing is middle class), who are raising them to be stand up citizens, but who are surrounded by knuckleheads, they have a bigger struggle on their hands, not only to make ends meet but also to not fall prey to the peer pressure of being a knucklehead.

If children live with parents who believe in them, they learn to believe in themselves and plan for a successful future.

If children live with parents in poverty who believe in them, they learn to believe in themselves but will rarely afford the opportunity to escape poverty.

If children live with parents who don’t work, because they understood it from their mother, who understood it from her mother, who understood it from her mother, who understood it from her mother, etc.to get pregnant young to get assistance with finding your own apartment, food and a little money, they generally continue to perpetuate the cycle.

If children live with crackheads, they learn to do crack and every which way to get their hands on some money to support their habit or get a food because who knows where the next meal is coming from.

If children live with drug dealers, they learn to deal drugs, to buy a bunch of material goods with the money they get, and to always look over their shoulders.

If children live with prostitutes, they learn America’s oldest profession.

If children live with gang bangers, they learn to protect their turf by any means necessary.

If children live with family in the projects, they learn how to survive in the hell; just not outside of it.

If children live with molesters, they learn to live in constant fear, they learn to lie to cover up the molestation, and sadly, they learn to molest.

If children live with people who allow them to listen to gangster rap, they learn to disrespect women and the law and that there is loyalty in death.

I could go on because the cycle is vicious and so many families are caught up in it. It pains me how people of privilege pretend not to know the effects of being raised in abject poverty and how easy it is for them to look the other way. Then when I say something like, “This is how the system is designed,” people want to label me a conspiracy theorist, like I’m being unpatriotic for telling the truth. But I have the audacity to believe that if people knew more about the real causes of poverty and about these circumstances that perpetuate it, they might begin to gain empathy for and a real understanding of how everyone DOES NOT have the same chance to make it in America.

Inner cities are almost like third world countries right here in the grand old U S of A. And while I am certainly a firm believer in the idea that it doesn’t matter where you come from, that you don't have to become a product of your environment and can become a success; I am honest enough to recognize that it is much easier said than done. And if I want to be totally honest with myself and everyone else, I'll admit that it's also highly unlikely.

Til Next Time. Peace- Two Fingers. One Love.

 

Technorati Tags: children,learn,live,poverty,life,inner city,privilege,failure,system,conspiracy,empathy

Privacy Policy?

I am truly appalled by the things that have fallen by the wayside. Things like respect for elders, good customer service, common courtesy and not only privacy (with big brother watching) but the lack of the desire for privacy.
I am always amazed by how much of their private business people are willing to share as they walk down the street. Between cell phone conversations and FB, people have NO PROBLEM letting the world know about their relationship issues, family fights, body art & piercing (even in private places), bounced checks and foreclosures, pregnancies, abortions and sexually transmitted diseases. It appears they're all waiting to be discovered by some reality show producer who happens to be passing by or browsing. And then they say something really outrageous, so much so that you can't help but to turn and look at them like WTH? and they look at you like "mind your business!" What?!? Don't you realize you idiot that you made it my business even though I wanted nothing to do with it. Don't you know I would really have preferred not to know that you were getting your "goodness" pierced? Or that your mama slept with your man? Or that your boss made you stay late and redo the report that he messed up, and then took credit for your hard work? Sometimes, one has to look just to see what kind of idiot shares that private information with anybody in earshot. 
All day every day, we are subjected to underwear and crack (a**), tits, belly buttons, camel toe and if we're really lucky we'll see a hint of the goodies. And FYI: There's no need to share on a social network that you just came out of the bathroom and you now feel 10 pounds lighter. Our privacy policy is nonexistent. There is nothing sacred or restricted. Seemingly, our personal business is public record. It's the weirdest phenomenon. We are walking reality shows! And I think we have crossed a line and there really is no going back. Like Larry Niven said, “I do suspect that privacy was a passing fad!”
Til next time,
Peace- Two Fingers, One Love.

Technorati Tags: privacy,private,business,cell phones,reality show,personal,policy,fad

Darkness

After all I've been through, all my learning and teaching, and all my studying of the mistakes of myself and others, I find that I am still able to be shocked. Admittedly, there isn't much that surprises me; between the Bible and Dr. Seuss, I know a lot
what people are capable of (good and bad). But every now and then something slips through the cracks.

I am a black American.
It's true.
And no one else can know what that feels like except another black American.
I am happy, relatively healthy and arguably wise, but there is an ever-present dark spot on my soul. It won't go away. No matter what I do or how hard I try I can't seem to get rid of it. I suppose it matches the darkness in the fabric of America.  Whenever I think about the FACT that no matter how hard I work, how good I am, how rich I get, in these United States (and beyond-ask Oprah), I will still be black; translation- not good enough, criminal, uneducated, poor.

I write for me; to record my thoughts and opinions. I share for my people. Just in case something I say can have a positive effect on someone's attitude or actions. Folks get angry at me because I'm not a fan of Tyler Perry media, I dislike Little Wayne and Grand Theft Auto and I'm slow to forgive the likes of racists, greedy businesses and criminal politicians that rape America for profit and the NRA. We want to give everyone a pass on their bad behavior but it has to stop somewhere. Enough is enough.  As I watch a whole generation of young folks head down the drain, we have to consider the effects of all of this negativity and hatred.

So it saddens me to admit it but this spot exists in my soul. I fill it with flowers and sunlight and then I walk in a store and salespeople follow me around watching me or I drive through some towns in my properly insured, registered car and get followed by the police to the city limits. I cover it with candy canes and Hershey kisses and then I hear that there were 500 murders in Chicago last year.

I am tolerant. I teach tolerance. But I am tired. I just want a fair shake; a chance to be judged and rewarded on the merits of what I do and what I know. I want my children and your children to want more; to understand where we've been and how much further we have to go and to keep closing the gap. We all rushed excitedly to put President Obama in the White House and then we turned our collective backs on him when we realized that he couldn't wave a magic wand and make hundreds of years of oppression go away.  So I keep fighting- with education and self-awareness, hope and always love. It's not a fair fight considering what I'm up against but I don't let that deter me. I am committed to living in an America where being black is not a disadvantage.

Until next time.

Peace. Two fingers, one love.

From Here to Eternity

To me, the fact that the Trayvon Martin murder has Americans lined up on opposite sides of the race line instead of on the sides of right or wrong, is a pretty clear indication that this black and white issue will never go away. It will last from here to eternity! When a man with a gun kills a teen without one, not because he has done something wrong; raped, killed, beaten, or robbed someone, but because he is walking around looking about; a “coon;” a black kid who sadly just really happened to be in the right place at the wrong time (the wrong time being when George Zimmerman decided that because he had a gun he had the right to confront, harass, and ultimately kill the young man.) Then in another travesty of justice, the police in Sanford, Florida released the killer with no charges, no toxicology tests, AND with the murder weapon. Justice in this case is such a distant concept.

So, the ONLY good thing that can come out of this Trayvon Martin tragedy is that people become more aware of and sensitive to the effects of racial profiling. I can't even begin to count the number of stores I've walked out of because some clerk followed me around like I'm a thief. I can’t describe that jumpy feeling I get when a cop car gets behind me. I'm a licensed, registered, insured driver who obeys traffic laws and that still DOES NOT give me peace. I hate that feeling! It's a terrible thing to have to go through that day in and day out. The only people who know what it feels like to be black are Black people and now it's time for Blacks to stand up together and in one voice say "No More!" 400 years- still not free. This should not still be happening in America. The only thing we can't help being is black... It is also the one thing I don't want to help being. I'm black & I'm proud!!!

Until Next Time.

Peace. Two Fingers; One Love!

Technorati Tags: trayvon martin,race,wrong,right,murder,tragedy,blacks,african-american,racial,profiling,police

Unstack the Deck

“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”  ― Mahatma Gandhi

Do people honestly believe that there is a large majority of people out here who just want to be poor; unemployed or underemployed -eager to be one check away from poverty OR mired in poverty "on purpose?" A large majority who would rather be out of their minds on drugs, leaving their families hungry and helpless as they search for their next hit? Who want their children to get a watered down education and just hang on until they are old enough to just stop going altogether? Who look forward to their kids joining gangs or killing folks and spending years in and out of prison?

Well, I know people who think this and I know that there are a lot of people that I don't know who think it and I think they are the ones who are all insane!! No money = very, very few options and in light of the financial crisis this country is in, the gap is widening between what they can have and what they can not. Contrary to popular opinion, poor people don't just want to sit around and wait on checks. Give them your opportunities and the jobs you're able to get as a result of them and they'll take care of you on welfare; gladly!

THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!

As inner city women, it is important for us to get a firm understanding of what happens in our communities vs. what happens in other communities. We have gotten so used to hearing about the mayhem that plagues our communities that we have become almost desensitized to the sheer madness of our predicament. We fail to piece together the reality that these things are ONLY happening in our communities; that our community is literally “imploding” from ignorance. It is so expected in our community that we are only outraged when an innocent person gets struck dead by a stray bullet. The rest of the time, we shake our heads and keep it moving.We live in fear of walking out of our front door because our children and our neighbor’s children have taken over our streets. They are delinquents, they are drop-outs, and they are dangerous. We would be more concerned if we didn’t see the crack heads or “the walking dead” sitting slumped over on the curb or stumbling obliviously down the block. There are liquor stores on what seems like every corner and a dope dealer on every other block. We begin to think that what is happening around us is “normal;” that it happens everywhere. NEWFLASH: Nothing is further from the truth. Is there crime everywhere? Absolutely. Can people get killed anywhere? Absolutely. Is it an expected (daily, weekly, monthly) occurrence? Absolutely NOT! THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!

We are trained by mass media- by what we see on television, what we hear on the radio, what we hear on the news and even by the video games we play. Mass media, an industry selling sex, criminality, violence, delinquency, disrespect, stereotypes and fear is causing MASS DESTRUCTION in the inner city. Children are learning younger and younger wrong over right; street smarts rather than book smarts. They see and hear much too much and while they don’t pay much attention in school, they are paying rapt attention to what is going on around them. I know because they tell me. If you think that all of this is not having an effect on the youth, trust me, you are sadly mistaken. We are sending the message loud and clear to our children who are exposed to the hopelessness and lack of opportunity that exists in the hood every day. Folks, THIS IS NOT NORMAL!!

And as a final FYI~ Look around your community. We don’t own anything in our communities; not the restaurants, the corner stores, gas stations, NOTHING- except maybe barber shops and hair salons. Yet we are the biggest consumers! We’ve been here all of our lives yet we have the highest rates of unemployment, lowest levels of education (they’ve been trying to close the achievement gap all of my life I think), highest levels of incarceration, the highest rates of infant mortality and violent deaths. In nearly every negative statistical category, we lead the pack. We aren’t taught anything about finances or career development or networking or social skills in school. Most of our schools are failing schools or ‘drop-out factories’ anyway so many of us never even learn to read or write at high levels.  And then we have idiots, black men, like Herman Cain saying idiot stuff like: if we’re not rich, it’s our fault!  And rich men like Magic Johnson pushing Rent-a-Center? And leaders like Montell Williams endorsing short term cash advances? WTF? People- THIS IS NOT NORMAL!! I would be ROTFLMAO but I can’t even laugh to keep from crying- it’s too sad.

Other nationalities don’t live like this. Other townships and cities don’t fear like this. Other people’s children don’t have to deal with this! Having said that, if children learn what they live, is it any wonder that the cycle continues? 
Pray with me and then let’s get busy! Until next time….

Peace. Two fingers, one love!