The Incident

In my writing, you will continually see me refer to “The Incident.” Because of its importance in the story of our lives, I try to make sure that every woman, man, girl and boy understands the significance of it. “The Incident” is so titled because it is an event. It was or will be the thing that happened or will happen at some point in your life that FINALLY makes you examine how and/or why you’re living. Usually it is something traumatic or dramatic, coming in the form of things like a broken heart, a life threatening medical diagnosis, a car accident, an anxiety attack, job loss, a financial crisis, suddenly finding yourself homeless or on the brink, realizing that you don’t have any real friends or even death (obviously not your own). It doesn’t have to happen to you; it could very well be something that happens to someone close to you that gives you your wake up call. Usually it is painful; very- extremely- especially- painful. Sometimes “The Incident” presents itself as an Aha Moment, and you immediately learn something from it. Sometimes it hits you like a ton of bricks and slams you awake. It can also be very subtle but frustrate you enough to make you pay attention. Always, it is a game changer.

I’ll give you an example. In 1997, on my son’s 3^rd birthday, my father died. My dad and I were very close and I took his passing very hard. The normal sympathies and the “He’s gone on to a better place” words of comfort didn’t help one bit. Through the gloom though, my dad’s death made me appreciate how significant the journey is. I immediately understood that my life would never be the same, but more important than what I learned from my dad’s death is the real point of “The Incident.” It made me begin to ask the hard questions. Questions that for me were like, “What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose here? What about God and religion?” Basically, I questioned damn near everything I knew.

As I began to uncover answers to my questions, I literally saw the light bulb click on in my brain. There was no more room for ignorance. I read everything about anything that I could get my hands on. I studied many different types of religions and belief systems and I can truly say that as I began to gain better understanding, I learned more about myself and others. Understanding people became less complicated because I could see what was driving them. I felt like Jesus; like God’s “biological” child. Like I could walk on water and heal the sick. My purpose became clear. And honestly, it scared the hell out of me.

These days, my journey is interesting. I am enjoying it immensely. I am in a constant state of rebuilding because there is always a lesson to be learned. I LIVE MY LIFE!! I don’t wait until tomorrow, I pay myself first, and I don’t save the good dishes; every day is a special occasion. I only take assignments that I want to, do what I can for others, love with abandon, drink wine from fancy glasses and prepare the next generation for the future. I LOVE MY LIFE!! When people look to judge or criticize, I laugh to myself. And when they say, “Who do you think you are?” I quickly respond, “Who do I think I am?” And I’m not rude or obnoxious or confrontational. I am probably one of the most down to Earth people you will ever meet. I’m kind and helpful and I’m not patting myself on the back, I’m sharing with you what people tell me. Trust me when I tell you that I wasn’t always this way.

So what I need you to understand is that the answers to the questions you ask in response to “The Incident” are extremely important. The answers will come as you challenge everything you’ve ever heard, learned, or thought about. They will begin to dictate everything else you do. Everything may become suspect and your “God” (whomever that is to you) may be called into question. Very rarely do people initiate change because it’s something that they want to do; because of a dream or an inspiration. What I’d like to see happen for you is that you evaluate your life before “The Incident.” Perhaps then, you can prevent the trauma and/or drama or at the very least, minimize the damage. Stop waiting until you have no choice. Make good things happen by consciously deciding that those are the things you want in your life!

Until next time.

Peace. Two fingers, one love.

 

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