Just One of Dem Days

Man! I just had one of those days when the Earth shifted on its’ axis and my common sense headed for the window. Thank goodness for prayer and meditation; which kept me from doing something stupid. I’ll admit though, it’s been a long time since I had to focus that hard to gain perspective. People just really know how to push your buttons though, don’t they?

I was just done; people acting up in the news, people acting up in my life. I was sick AND tired and when I get sick and tired of being sick and tired, I need a mental break. So when I’m having a particularly bad day or feeling a certain way, I tell people, “Today is not your day. It’s not your fault but I really need for you to leave me alone today.” I can’t be any more honest than that. I’ve given them fair warning. I’ve been doing that since I was like 12 years old because I know that on those days, I’m not myself and if you stay out of my way, you can avoid my wrath. I finally got my family to take me seriously, I explained it to my kids as soon as they were old enough to understand, to my partner on the 4th date, and to some of my friends. On those days I’m Kelly (yes I’ve named her) and as my friend Sam used to say “the sick, cynical bitch has entered the building.” He was absolutely right. (Note: I don’t use Kelly as a means to do things I wouldn’t normally do or to pass responsibility for my actions to someone else)

So anyway, back to my day. Nothing really Earth rocking happened but most of the time, nothing really bothers me. It’s a gift really, but I understand human nature and I realize that most people don’t even know why they do the dumb sh*t they do; they just do it. But yesterday was too much. I was just fed up with foolishness, pretty much from the human race (and the dog). My man said some stupid sh*t to me, my daughter was having one of her “me generation” fits, parents were behaving badly, I was getting the runaround about some important business papers I needed to deal with, it occured to me that I have 3 events scheduled for the same Saturday, my married friend is trying to convince me that I need him in my bed, I missed the deadline to pay my vacation deposit, Weiner was still texting pictures of his weenie to people, and that damn dog had wrapped his chain under the porch again. No one big thing, but a string of little things that were quickly adding up to a big one.

So knowing what I know, I paused for a little perspective. Understand this: Everybody has a breaking point, when they’ve taken as much crap as they can withstand and they snap. One of the great objectives of life is to learn to control that level; to never get to your breaking point cause it’s a funny thing about that straw that broke the camels’ back. It wasn’t just that one straw that was heavy enough to break his back but all the straws piled up underneath it. That was just the FINAL STRAW! And then the load was just too heavy for him. When you learn to put things into perspective, you can pretty much avoid reaching your breaking point (or snapping, or having a meltdown, or going crazy, etc.) So when I’m struggling to gain perspective and get back to my natural mental state where “nothing is a problem,” I ask people to back off. I say it really nicely but I really mean it. And some people don’t get it and they say, “What’s wrong with you?” Now I’m sure they mean well, but I try again, “Nothing’s really wrong. I just need to think.” And still they don’t get it, and they go, “You want to talk about it?” And this is adding to my frustration, but I say, “Not right now. I just need a few minutes alone to clear my head. But thank you.” But they don’t believe me damnit. They still think there’s something wrong and they gotta try to fix it. So Kelly goes, “Listen, this ain’t about you. I’m not mad at you. I have other things on my mind. It's just one of dem days. Don't take it personal." And instead of walking away like I’d hoped they would, they keep talking. And talking and talking until Kelly finally says, “Which language do I need to speak for you to understand what I’m saying? I’m having a rough day and I don’t want to take it out on you. Just back the hell off!” And they look at me like I’ve grown another head and walk away with an attitude. I should be the one with the attitude.

And I begin my prayers and meditations. I ask my god to smile at me. I ask the universe to straighten on the axis, I ask myself what’s really important. I ask my god to smile at me. I ask the universe to straighten on the axis, I ask myself what’s really important. As I meditate and pray, answers start to come to me. In the quiet, I can hear the words I need to say to my man in response to that crap he fed me, the actions I need to take to help my daughter with her understanding of the real world, additional ways to deal with parents for their kids’ sakes, who I need to talk to about that important paperwork, and how to find out if it’s really too late for the deposit and if I have to change my vacation where I could go all filter into my head. To my married friend, Kelly says not just no- HELL NO! End of story!! It also comes to me that there is absolutely nothing I can do about Weiner and his weenie and that the dog is a dog and I just gotta deal with it. The only thing I have yet to figure out is how to be in 3 places at the same time and since that’s not gonna happen, I know I have about a week to make a decision about where I’m going to go.

Oh what joy! The Earth is beginning to re-shift into its’ proper place.
My common sense is returning to my brain.
Thank goodness for prayer and meditation (and Kelly); they keep me from doing stupid things.

True Story!

Peace- Two fingers, one love!

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